My definition of depression is just being sad for a certain period of time. People do suffer from depression due to chemical imbalance in the brain and traumatic experiences.
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Depression is something that everyone and I mean everyone will have to go through at some point in their life. It’s just part of being human.
Maybe you hate your life because you’re not where you want to be(A.K.A me). You’ve been searching for a job for the last 6 months and you still haven’t found one. Your girlfriend just broke up with you and you find out that she was cheating on you.
These are things that would cause anyone to get into a deep depression(sadness).
I’m Depressed Because I Hate My Life
I’m convinced that the people who are probably depressed in life “appear” to be the most happiest when you meet them. They fake it the most because they understand that people don’t want to hear about their problems.
Why do I know this? I’m the perfect example of this. If you were to meet me in real life you would think I’m an upbeat guy who just likes to have fun. People always comment on how I’m always smiling all the time. When I’m around people I always like to joke around and make people feel comfortable.
Does this mean that on the surface I’m happy but secretly I’m just dying on the inside and crying out for help?
Not really. Most days my mood is okay and some days I feel great. It’s just that my thoughts of self doubt and self-hate starts to eat at me when I’m alone. This typically happens when I come home from work.
I Hated College
When I’m alone I start to think about my life. I can’t help it that’s just something my brain tends to do on it’s own.
I was never a cool kid, but I wasn’t a complete loser either that got picked on. People knew who I was in high-school, but it’s not like girls were going crazy over me. I always wanted to be a cool kid. I graduated and my high school experience sucked. It didn’t have the fond memories of partying and girls. I was never a cool kid.
I thought college would be better. I thought college would let me to make the memories I missed in high school. Life has a weird way of F*cking you over. I didn’t get enough scholarship or grant money for college. I just couldn’t afford to live on campus. I had to commute from home to college. I still graduated with a $30,000 loan though.
I missed out on the college experience I wanted so badly. Commuting from home didn’t allow me to feel part of the college, campus, and community. I didn’t make the friends that everyone makes in the dorms when they first move in. Meeting new people was so tough. Commuting everyday back and forth for 40mins was not fun. I struggled so much getting invited to parties and making friends.
I Hate Living At Home
I hated living at home, I hated my parents, I just wanted to get away for college. I couldn’t even do that. During those 5 years of college commuting from home, I felt depressed most days and of course I faked it better than you know it.
Now college is over, I work full-time and I still live at home.
I don’t like my parents. I hate my dad growing up who only knew how to spend time with me by making me do chores around the house and running errands. I hate my mom who only knows how to yell and complain.
Everyday I come home from work and I’m always reminded of that.
I Hate Not Having Enough Money
I’m not completely broke but I don’t have millions in the bank either. I have student loans to pay, 2 credit cards to pay off, car insurance, and car repairs to pay.
That’s not including money I spend on myself and miscellaneous expenses as well. Typically at the end of the month I have maybe $100 left over If I’m lucky.
Phenibut And Kratom Everytime You Get Down
These things eat at me inside when I’m alone and left to my thoughts. I can’t help but think about how much I hate my life.
I always have to remind myself that I’m not just laying around and feeling sorry for myself. I’m taking action and doing things to make my life better.
I’m paying down my credit cards and student loans. The beginning of 2017 I plan to move out of my parents house. Once I move out of my parents house I won’t have to see them 24/7 and I’ll have some peace of mind. I just know once I move out of my parents house I’ll just feel better. After all, I feel like 50% of the depressed feeling I have is just by living at home.
I’m working a side gig to make some extra money. I’m pouring my heart and soul into this website to give you guys good content and not just generic bullsh*t. I’m also working on other projects as well which I hope will make me more money in time.
I’ll always regret my college experience but I know the future is bright and I’ll make even better memories in time. I just have to keep working towards it.
But still you can’t hope but feel down sometime.
Take some Phenibut and Kratom and let the euphoria take away the pain. Everytime you take it 30min in and the euphoria hits you. The depression fades away. All the negative thoughts seem so distant. You don’t hate yourself anymore. You don’t hate your life. You feel happy. Living at home doesn’t feel so bad. You feel like everything is going to be alright, your life is going to work out in the end.
That’s the type of feeling I have every time I take Phenibut and Kratom when ever I’m down.
Phenibut and Kratom can sometimes be the difference between a good and a bad day. If you’re feeling down try some today.
P.S. If you like this article check out Mixing Phenibut and Kratom
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